Today's Post Brought to You by the Letter "B"

I read in a parenting book that to facilitate your child’s language skills, you listen to the sounds he first makes, then repeat words that begin with the same sound. After two full weeks with Owen, we can say that like babies everywhere he loves to make the raspberry noise (photographic evidence shown), and his favorite sound is “booo”. So does this mean we should be teaching him “booze”, “booty” and “boobs”? Hmm, so much for that particular piece of advice.

Owen still loves his beach ball (check out that coordination) and butterfly but I think he’s ready for some new toys. Good thing he has a bunch waiting at home, including some furry ones that move and make noise.

This morning he was checking out the “Who Loves Baby” book so he knows who to look for upon his arrival in Dulles. He still loves to eat and Bob and I think he’s gained weight; there are times he looks just like a little Buddha.

All the attention the kid is getting is starting to have one not so great side effect – he has decided he no longer needs naps and bedtime has turned into a cry fest. Surprisingly he isn’t too fussy despite his lack of rest; we think he has really just decided that we are pretty fun to hang out with and he doesn’t want to miss a second! The good news is that this also means he is bonding with us, so we aren’t too upset; just a little tired.

On Sunday Rada took Maureen, Sean, Bob and I bowling. It was Rada’s first time bowling and her expression when she finally managed to knock down a pin (it took a few frames) was priceless. The place was small (5 lanes and a little bar and café area) but nice. They had electronic scoring complete with screen graphics, including a dead chicken for a gutter ball and a sports car for a “speedy spare”. We even got little socks to wear with our bowling shoes. Maureen was the best out of the gate but Bob managed to get in a groove and beat her in the third game. Sean, Rada and I … well, we had fun.

And our final “B’s” for the post … brrrrr – its -6 degrees today. We are sure hoping spring will be in bloom in Maryland when we get home!

The Kaz Crawl

We woke to another blizzard – snow blowing sideways for dramatic effect – which cleared in time for the Mechems to visit the Powers (Sean, Maureen and James). They are in an apartment a few blocks away so we bundled up the boy and braved the chill. Owen and James were both very good, engaging in a little friendly wrestling and playing with their toys. Maureen and Sean were going to treat us to a dinner of french fries, chicken nuggets and fish sticks; unfortunately their gas cylinder ran out halfway through cooking and a replacement couldn’t be delivered until the next day. By this time in the trip we all are sufficiently “Kazified” to laugh it off and eat dried peach and raisin pie for dinner instead.

Owen continues to be in good health and is making developmental gains everyday. It amazes us to see the things he does after being with us just short of two weeks. He can now sit on his own for several minutes, he loves to stand and even “dances” a bit, and he really seems to be enjoying investigating his toys and his world. But he’s still not showing any real interest in crawling; why bother when you can scoot yourself around on your back - the Kaz Crawl! We try to tell him that if he keeps it up the bald spot on the back of his head will never have a chance to fill in and the girls will tease him, but so far, it doesn’t seem to matter to him. Especially since pretty girls like Rada come by to give him lots of attention no matter how his hair looks (hmmm, maybe it’s really the Nittany Lion paw print on his pants that she likes).

Our little one also had his first babysitter this week. Luba is a wonderful woman who works with our agency and is the housecleaner at the cottage; she also does our laundry. She loves kids – as soon as she walked in she went right for Owen and started speaking Russian to him and he seemed perfectly content with her. Bob and I went to dinner with Rada at Kokshetau’s sole sports bar. It was nice and rather new looking inside with several large screen TVs all showing soccer. Rada tried to teach us a bit about the rules of the game, but if Owen decides to play I think I’ll have to get a crash course from Drew because I still don’t understand what constitutes getting a yellow card!

It was nice to get out and have a good meal, but it was even nicer to come back to the apartment and give Owen big hugs and kisses.We are now heading into our last week in Kokshetau!

Happy O is Back Again

The other night as I lay in bed unable to sleep, the chorus of a popular song kept running through my head … in Russian. Yep, we’ve officially been here too long.

I promised myself not to turn this into the “diaper diaries”, but as I mentioned Owen was having some serious intestinal issues that were pretty rough on all of us. After a few days of only rice cereal and formula didn’t help we asked Rada to call Dr. Victoria . She thought the only thing wrong with him was that we had fed him jarred carrots instead of the boiled cabbage and meat she suggested, and prescribed him medicine, capsules that we broke open and mixed with some water three times a day.We are happy to report that the situation seems to finally be back to normal. Just in time too as we woke up this morning to no running water for the third day in a row (it has since thankfully come on) and the kind of clean up involved in previous days would have been difficult to say the least. And no, living without running water is not at all fun, particularly for me, someone who won’t even go camping unless we stay in a cabin with indoor plumbing and a shower (Audrey stop laughing!).

Owen has been mostly back to happy baby lately, although he does get cranky if we are a little late or slow with the food. He sure does like to eat and I’m looking forward to his medical exam in Almaty (required before leaving the country) to see how much he weighs now. We are still tinkering a bit with his schedule and think we’ve found a winner – more frequent, shorter naps and a slightly later bedtime.

Our social life is pretty slow at the moment as it’s been very cold and snowy for a few days. But we do manage to get out occasionally - Bob and Sean went on a walk around town to take pictures of some of the monuments and I met Maureen, Jenny, Joey, Diane (a newbie from Alexandria), Bill and Jill for an afternoon of shopping at the Tsum store.

The Tsum store is really just a bunch of small kiosks and stores that sell everything from auto parts to fur coats. There are stores for appliances, sporting goods, books, stationary, wigs, chandeliers, cosmetics, food, curtains, shoes, china and glassware … in short, if you need it, you can probably find it here. It might not be all that nice or even look like it belongs in this decade, but you can find it.

We do a lot of reading to pass the time; I’ve finished two books that I highly recommend: “The Boleyn Inheritance” by Philippa Gregory (Mom, I think you’d very much enjoy; it’s about the court of King Henry VIII from three women’s point of view) and “A Short History of Nearly Everything” by Bill Bryson. The latter is just what the title suggests; it’s an explanation of everything from how the Universe works to what an atom does. It’s written by a non-scientist and is therefore accessible for everyone. Every five pages I was saying “Bob, listen to this …” Amazing stuff, great book.

Hope everyone is well. Your comments, thoughts and prayers keep us going – but we are really ready to come home. Two weeks to go!

To The Pick-Up Store

Grocery shopping in Kokshetau is a good thing for three reasons … 1) it gets you out of the apartment, 2) it gets you out of the apartment, and 3) it gets you out of the apartment. The half mile walk in each direction through snow and ice gets your blood flowing and muscles working. And really, there is nothing quite like the sensation of having your nose hairs freeze.

Once you arrive at the local pick-up store, the nicely dressed (business suit/pointy shoes) security guard eyes you suspiciously and the clerks look at you and whisper among themselves. But it’s really a lot of fun to navigate the three aisles and try to figure out what things are by the pictures. Go ahead - try this for yourself! Visit your local Safeway or Giant or Acme, pretend you don’t read English, and buy your entire list only by what’s on the package. Interesting, yes?

Mayonnaise here comes in a bag and mustard in a tube like toothpaste – I picked ours by the drawings of pepper and horseradish on the front – and there are at least nine kinds of ketchup; although none of the bottles we’ve tried tastes like Heinz. There is a whole row of teas and instant coffee but no peanut butter or crackers and very limited vegetables and fruit (fresh, frozen or canned). One of my new snack finds is a children’s breakfast cereal of little wheat squares filled with cherry, strawberry, orange, vanilla, raspberry or cappuccino (perhaps it gives the kids an extra boost for the walk to school in the morning?) cream, and I usually grab some Sour Cream and Onion Pringles, or the Kaz equivalent “Kracks”. I’ve given up on chicken but the yogurt is great, and we like the potato pirogues and “Mexican” beans with rice for dinner.

But without a doubt, my favorite thing is Twix Dark. Chocolate cookie, caramel and dark chocolate - delicious. We need these at home. Unfortunately, I told our fellow travelers about them and they agreed they were an everyday necessity and now I think we may have purchased Kokshetau’s entire supply. I’ll be looking in Almaty!

In other news Bob got a (good) haircut for five hundred tenge ($4); we’ve discovered Owen only likes the more expensive brand of formula (hmm, wonder where he gets that from); this week Kaz celebrated National Pancake Day; and it’s still snowing. Ah, the days go by …

Introducing Mr. Cranky

For reasons known only to Owen (and maybe his teeth), our sweet, agreeable, “easy” baby has turned into Mr. Cranky. We don’t see any little white Chiclets emerging from his gums but the other signs seem to be there … the previously oft-mentioned drool, the shoving of anything and everything into his mouth (why doesn’t someone make teething rings the same texture as fingers since that is obviously the preferred thing to bite?), ear rubbing, crying and general fussiness – see picture. And of course out of the all the toys and diversions we offered, the plastic wipes bag was the only thing to halt his tears for a good fifteen minutes.

The good news from Kokshetau is that we are getting out of here two days early, March 2nd instead of March 4th (although our flight home is still scheduled for March 7th). We don’t know the reason behind the change, although we heard something about the flight schedule changing for spring. In winter, the Yak flies only on Wednesday and Sunday; and yes, it has snowed here for three days straight and the high today is zero, but I think March 1st is the official start of spring. Whatever the reason we are happy to have more time in Almaty. Because it’s a much bigger city we will be able to take Owen out in public, Mad Murphy’s Irish Pub has awesome food, and the Ramstore is better than the Westminster Mall. Hopefully by then our happy baby will be back!

First Bath and First Play Date ... Coincidence?

Owen handled his first bath like a trooper, a happy surprise for us as so many new adoptive parents have reported stories of screaming babies (apparently bath time in the orphanages isn’t much fun). At first he was a little hesitant but was soon sitting happily while we soaped him up. He even enjoyed playing with a few cups and splashing a bit. Since we don’t have a baby tub Bob climbed in with him, which was great for Owen but unfortunately didn’t result in any bath pictures we can post on the internet!

The next day James and his mom and dad (Maureen and Sean) came over for a play date; and although it’s possible the adults enjoyed the afternoon more than the kids, we did get a few smiles from them. James is one of the “hamsters” and shares a birthday (July 14) with Owen. We are hoping to get together with Garrett soon; also one of the fab five, he’s Jenny and Darryl’s son.

We think we have Owen’s schedule figured out pretty well but have decided to cut out the carrots and pears for a few days; to put it nicely we think it may be a bit too much for his system right now. He’s having a lot of fun discovering his voice and he remains a very happy kid for most of the day. He’s also drooling a small stream so we expect more teeth any time. We tell him everyday about all the family and friends he has waiting for him at home and I think he may be counting down the days too (its’ now 18 to go).

Bob and I have decided we now miss American TV. It would be really nice to sit together at the end of the day and relax with an episode of CSI (the original, NY or Miami – any of them would do). The only English speaking channel here is Euro Sport, which is usually showing soccer or tennis. Music Box does play some familiar music and US/British artists; and today I saw a new A-ha video! Kris, they look pretty much the same although I think the lead singer may have had some work done.

To close out today’s post, another Russian/Kazakh superstition Rada told us … if you take a ring off and hand it to someone you are passing them your luck; therefore, always put it down first and let them pick it up (Sherry, thought you might enjoy this one and we’ll have to remember it the next time we are sitting at Texas Road House). Enjoy your weekend!

Welcome to Parenthood

I know that all new parents are sleep deprived, but our tiredness is not because Owen doesn’t snooze – in fact he’s doing great; out like a light by 9:00 and sleeping until 8:00 with only one early morning call for action. No, Bob and I are awake most of the night listening to each squeak of the ancient metal “death trap” crib (part of it swings and one leg is broken), each breath Owen takes, each sigh, each squirm. Sitting up in bed and asking over and over, “Was that him; is he ok”? Plus I just plain miss seeing him and holding him! As Bob said at about 3:30 am the first night, “Welcome to Parenthood”.

We’ve spent the last few days trying to get Owen (and us) settled into a schedule. This is the most physical activity he’s ever had, and as a result he’s eating far more than the four bottles (two each of cereal and formula) he got at the hospital. We’ve introduced carrots and cherry juice (he doesn’t like apple), and plan to try yogurt and pears soon. It’s been interesting trying to figure out amounts of food and naps; but he’s pretty good at making his wishes known!

Of course we play and talk with him a lot; his newest favorite toy is a blow up ball (thanks Alison, Jeff and Jack) and he also enjoys just hanging out with his dad in the chair or with me in the hip carrier.

Bob and I can already see how this last part of the trip gets really long – it feels like, ok, we’ve done what we came to do, why can’t we go home now?! Since Owen has been with us we have lost water and electricity (O and I watched from the window as the big old falling-apart service truck pulled up to the corner and a man in a fur hat climbed the pole). Thankfully both services were restored before causing any real inconvenience but it sure does make you appreciate how good we have it at home.

We have been strongly discouraged from taking Owen out in public and to stores, restaurants, etc., so at least one of us is housebound all or part of the day. Bob goes to the Internet Café to post and check email; and I’ve walked to the pick-up store with some of our fellow travelers. It’s important to take a little break and get outside and get some fresh air (although this weekend the fresh air is supposed to get extremely cold again) so we try to take turns.

Sean/Maureen and Darryl/Jenny had court on Tuesday and now have their boys with them too (yeah!), so once they are a bit settled we’ll try to get together with them as well. Bill/Jill also had court and were granted their request to adopt (twins) but their babies are in a city that does not allow custody after court so they have to continue making visits, which of course is rough. We are very thankful that the judge in Kokshetau allows immediate custody.

You’ve all accused me many times of making you tear up with my words … well now you’ve turned the tables on me. In the brief moments of connection we have in the apartment we always try to read your comments and we cherish each and every one. Thank you so much for sharing in our joy. And Shannon S … your email really had me crying. And you are so right, we thank God for the broken road that led us right to Owen. I can’t imagine any other way, or any other child.

Primary Court Complete

It’s 9:15 pm in Kokshetau and we just put a peacefully sleeping baby boy in his crib for the night. That’s right … Owen Edward Mechem is out of the children’s hospital and officially our son!

Our court date was earlier this afternoon, and since Rada told Bob that his horoscope today said his charms would win over any situation, we felt pretty confident. Honestly we were a bit nervous, but we knew Owen was meant to be our son and had faith.

We dressed up, went to the courthouse and waited until called into the judge’s office. Serious faces all around. We sat with Rada in office chairs lined up along the back wall and the judge, prosecutor and secretary sat at the judge’s desk. After we answered a few basic questions about understanding our rights, Bob stood and did a great job with his speech and follow up questions from the prosecutor and judge (although Scott and Susan, we did have to evoke your names as being the reason we “chose” Kokshetau; at which point the judge actually nodded and smiled!). Then I stood and gave a brief speech. Dr. Victoria and Zhania, the representative from the Ministry of Education (they oversee adoptions), spoke next; the judge and prosecutor looked through our photo album from home and pictures of our visits with Owen; and asked a few more questions. All of us left the office to let the judge make her decision; and after a very long wait (but probably less than 5 minutes in actual time!) we went back in and listened as the judge read something in Russian that Rada basically translated as “YES”!

Tears followed (mine, and Rada welled up a bit too), pictures were taken, then back to the apartment to change and gather all our gifts for the caretakers and various other folks, as well as our donations to the hospital. Oleg drove us for the last time to the hospital and Dr. Victoria brought Owen into her office, where we shared bowls of tea and the cake we had brought with her, Zhania and Rada.

Finally we got to bundle up the boy and head for the apartment at about 6:00 pm. Owen has been great all night – he took his bottle well, played with some new toys, laughed and seemed happy to be with us, and then fell asleep in my arms.It’s been a truly wonderful day. I don’t think it’s really even sunk in yet that finally, after years of wishing and waiting and working for this, we’ve finally been granted our dream. But it sure feels good right now to have our son sleeping in the next room.

So we hold our breath for the next 15 days (official waiting period) that neither his birthmother or bio father (nor their families) files a claim for adoption. After the time is up we’ll get his official birth certificate listing his name as Owen and us as his parents. And after that we’ll get his passport and head back to Almaty for a few days and lots of official appointments before we fly home! But all that is a few weeks away and right now we are just enjoying the experience of having Owen with us all the time.

Our Days in Kokshetau

We are half way around the world, yet our domestic life is much the same as at home. I clean, cook, make the bed and do laundry; Bob does work and plays video golf on his PSP! But to be fair, he has now been grocery shopping more times in the past three weeks then in his whole life, I know he will do a huge amount of caring for Owen once he’s at the apartment (Susan, don’t be too upset but I do have to tell you that Bob changes most of the diapers!), and I'm sure he'd do more around the apartment if I asked.

If you’ve followed along to this point you may have the impression that we have parties every night, but in reality our days are pretty routine and not that exciting. We wake, take our lukewarm on/off shower; eat breakfast, dress in layers and meet Rada and Vladimir for the thrill ride to the Children’s Hospital. There we visit with Owen for about two and a half hours, then we either go to the Internet cafe, the Tsum store (souvenirs, clothes, electronics, household items), or the pick-up store (groceries). If we go to a restaurant for lunch it usually takes at least two hours to complete the meal between Rada translating the entire menu for us – and the “salad” section alone usually has at least 20 choices – and the fact that it seems the kitchen cooks meals to order. After lunch we head home, repack Owen’s bag for the next day (new outfit, eight diapers), do laundry/dishes, etc., then have a light dinner. Most evenings we watch a movie or turn on Russian MTV and read, play video games (Bob), work on the cross stitch project Maureen gave me (Jodi) or work Sudoku and crossword puzzles (thanks Amy B!). At about 11:00 its’ lights out then we wake in the morning to do it all over again.

It’s not a bad way to spend a month and a half, but as those before and with us have said; it does get to be a bit like the movie “Groundhog Day”. But we are making memories that we will always have to share with Owen and we know that this trip, although at times difficult and very long, is so worth the end result. And we are now almost halfway home!

Getting Closer

Things are continuing to move along in Kazakhstan. We had pre-court yesterday which was 50 minutes of waiting in a small lobby and 10 minutes sitting in a big, hot office while the Chairman (I'm not sure of what) read through our paperwork and asked us a few questions ... "How much do you have left on your mortgage?", "Will this interfere with the adoption?", "Do you understand his medical issues?", "Why do you want to adopt a child with problems?", "How long have your ancestors been in America?", "How often do you see Cearra?", "How big is your family?", etc., then he said ok, we'll accept your application to adopt and move your paperwork along, and then he actually smiled while Bob tried to say hi in Kazakh - which is about 20 letters long and sound a little like "sell met sezs beer".Court is next up and we are waiting on word as to the date - it should be either Monday or Tuesday. We'll start working on our speeches now and trying not to be too nervous!

The other couples on the same time line as us had similarly good results and last night we hosted a party at our place to celebrate. It was pretty crowded but a good time was had by all. Oleg and his wife Vera and youngest daughter joined us as did Rada and Inna. There's also a new couple here - Joey and Gary from Phoenix - who are adopting a little boy from a town near us, and it was great to welcome them to town and introduce them to the unofficial cocktail of Kaz - yes, cherry juice and vodka.

Today's visit with Owen was wonderful, especially since yesterday he was totally cranky. Of course it was the day they were going to take his passport photo so we might end up with a crying baby picture for that - which is ok considering my passport photo is no beauty shot either. We think he was just hungry and his teeth were bothering him, but today he was back to his happy self. And good thing too as the judge we'll have for court stopped by to see us with him and ask us a few questions about our visits, his medical diagnosis, etc.

At the end of the visit he fell asleep in Bob's arms and I asked him what he thought babies dreamed of. And Bob said "mommies and daddies". Hopefully Owen is having very sweet dreams these days - we certainly are.

Around Town and More O

After one of our recent visits Rada told us that the children’s hospital had run out of food besides yogurt, so we went immediately to the store and purchased formula and cereal for them. The other families weren’t told this, so we aren’t sure how desperate the situation really was, but we are glad to be able to help out with the babies care. While we were at the store, Rada also told us that we could bring Owen some baby food to see how he liked it. Among the many jars of fruit with added sugar, I finally found a vegetable choice – broccoli. So the next day, we “bibbed” him up and gave him a spoonful. One brief grimace, and then the boy loved it! We did not want to give him too much for the first time out, but he sure let us know when we stopped that he was not happy with that decision! He also chomped half a teething biscuit and happily finished his bottle when it was brought.

Despite his apparent love of food, he actually weighs a bit less then last week – about 16.3 lbs. I’m sure that will change once he is consistently getting good food and vitamins. We take some time each visitation to work with Owen on strengthening muscles that to this point he hasn’t had much reason to use; for example we practice sitting up and balancing, and getting his knees in position to crawl. But as you can see in the picture, he much prefers to stand (with assistance of course). I have a feeling we are going to be chasing him all over the place before too long!

Rada and Vladimir took us on a city tour today, pointing out different buildings around town, giving us a brief history of Kokshetau and letting us take a lot of pictures. We drove around Lake Kapa and saw men ice fishing and one brave soul parasailing across the frozen expanse. Rada pointed out the many factories that were abandoned after the fall of the Soviet Union and one of the four apartment buildings that were built to spell “CCCP” if viewed from the air. We went through neighborhoods of small wood houses where the residents still have to get water from a central pump, dragging their filled bottles back to the homes on sleds; and the newer, bigger brick houses that Kokshetau’s wealthier citizens call home. In the gentle hills surrounding the city we saw row after row of “dachas” or summer houses where families grow potatoes and carrots and beets; and passed scattered groves of birch trees that must be beautiful in spring and summer but also have a certain spare beauty now.

One of the things we had noticed earlier on our walks is how many dentists there are in town and we asked Rada about this. She explained there are so many because it’s slippery and people fall a lot and damage their teeth. Well, shortly after Rada took this picture of us at the “horny husband” hill (we are up from the ground quite a bit and no, we still aren’t entirely clear as to why it’s named that), I fell on the ice while climbing down. And at that moment, laying face planted in the snow and hip hurting, I really wanted to be home. I think it’s that same deep seated emotion that makes you always want your mom when you are sick. Bob helped me get back to my feet and brush myself off and I’m happy to say there was no permanent damage – just a slightly swollen lip and a little soreness; perhaps a bit of a bruise tomorrow. But no trip to the Kazakh dentist required!

We met with Dr. Natalia (pictured) today and learned more about Owen's birthmother, including seeing a picture of her. We are very pleased that we will have this information to share with Owen as he grows up. Dr. Natalia also prepped us for pre-court which is Thursday morning (which is Wednesday afternoon/evening for you) so please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we move one step closer to bringing home Owen!